The new moon is coming up in the next couple of days…this is a time for growth and healing and new beginnings or new projects. Ask the God and Goddess for their help with this….I will be asking for healing from emotional hurt that was dealt to me this last couple of weeks by someone who claims to love me….my mother. She has made her feelings for me perfectly clear….while still claiming she loves me, she said some really hurtful things to me which tells how she really feels. She’s always been difficult and my life with her is riddled with bad memories. My siblings and I never had a soft place to fall with her. We could never please her, never get her unconditional love, very rarely drew a positive word from her. After this last couple of weeks, and the fact that I’m almost 52 years old, I AM DONE!! Done trying to get along with her, done trying to please her, done trying to make her happy. While I won’t tear the family apart by having a full blown separation from her, I am separating from her emotionally and more physically than I have in the past. She has hurt me many times..more than I can ever relate…..but this last time is the worse. I’m too stable (LOL) to let it affect my life totally in a negative way..but finding out how she really feels about me hasn’t been easy to take. Thank god I have my other siblings, my husband and daughters and a great group of friends…I am not alone. I hold my daughters dear and will never hurt them as I have been…
So on to more positive news…my herbs and veggies are growing in their little pots…once it warms up a bit more, I can move them outside until it is time to pot them. Not all of the seeds are blooming yet…some take longer than others. My book of shadows is coming along. Its been alot of work and time consuming but all fun! I love seeing it come together and I think its beautifully done and I’m very happy with it. My sister, daughter and I are enjoying working on our books together. My daughter Willow, sorrowfully, hasn’t received her book yet…..but she is also working on her pages. It’ll be fun when her book gets here and we can have days we are all together working on them.
Beltane is coming up fast…we’re going to spend a day making small maypoles for our altars and flower circlets for our hair. I’m hoping my husband will help me have a bonfire in our woods that night. Beltane is a lusty festival! All about fire, dancing, prosperity, fertility and fairies! A fun and happy time, knowing that warm summer days are on their way. It’s a good time to start gardens too. A feast is expected with good wine and good food! We will be giving gifts to the faeries to let them know we are aware of them and appreciate their help in our gardens!
So again, on the new moon, start that new project or start healing, and recognize that the Goddess is there to help you.
Blessed Be, Autumn