To Tell You Where I’ve Been………

Merry Meet my dear readers.  It has been a bit of time now since I’ve written here on my blog….and well….there is a good reason.  I debated with myself for a few days on whether to even write about this….but decided that as I learned a few lessons in this process…..that I would share my experience.

On Irish Day, March 17, after having a terrible headache for over 2 weeks, and with the insistence of my sister and a good friend, I had that friend take me to a local hospital to get checked out..something was not right with me and I could feel it.  Very quickly, I had a catscan and discovered that I was indeed a very sick lady.   I had two brain bleeds…one older and a brand new one.  It became a dire situation very fast.  I was ambulanced immediately to another hospital more equipped to handle my situation.  My family rushed in to be with me and we were all very scared..not knowing why this had happened or what the outcome was going to be.   After more catscans, MRI’s, IV meds, being in the ICU for a couple of days..the bleeding had not stopped.  I was really sick with nausea and such a severe headache that pain medicine didn’t stop it.    Then….I had brain surgery on wed the 21st.  Multiple burr holes were dug into my skull to relieve the pressure and allow the blood to drain out. My head was shaved down, drains applied and 30 some staples applied to close everything back up.  The next few days were a bit of a blur..still so sick, sleeping alot, and hoping for relief to kick in soon.  Eventually the drains were removed…catscans started showing improvement….I was moved out of ICU to a regular room and I started working towards going home.   I finally got home late tuesday night the 26th. 

My ordeal is not over.  I have some cognitive deficits, my eyesight seems to be affected a bit, still have a headache though much more tolerable.  There will be appts with docs who are trying to figure out what caused the bleeds in the first prevent them from happening again.  The neuro docs will be involved in my life for some time.  I have alot of restrictions…. no driving, no bending over, no lifting, over exertion, no housecleaning,  must get more sleep, meds I have to take and others I can no longer take.  Whew…’s alot to take in and alot to deal with…….

But…….  it’s NOT more then I can handle.  I am so so grateful to be alive, to be with my family and friends, to see that Spring has sprung while I was gone, to hug my grandkids, see my daughter’s smiles, my husband’s worry,  pet my cats, sit in my favorite chair in my own jammies, to watch the Sunrise and the Moonrise.   I had not seen the Moon for 12 days….the night I got home…my husband helped me to take a long soaking bath.  Right over our tub we have a skylight.  As I laid back to just soak my achy, bruised body….the Crescent moon was shining right thru that skylight onto me…filling me with a deep sense of healing, peace, love and strength.  It was amazing and I was mesmerized by how my Goddess reminded me She was still with me…always. 

Another lesson I learned…..was how strong, caring and wonderful my facebook friends are.  The outpouring of love, healing energy and concern was incredible.  I was too sick to really “be” on facebook much….but I read what I could…so often crying at the pure magick of it…and the feeling of love I was receiving…it was humbling and so so touching.  I believe it was that incredible love that has kept me here as well.  Thank you so so much my friends.

I also learned…again….that my husband, daughters, son-in-law, sisters, brother, and some close friends….always are there for each other as well.  No matter what the crisis…someone steps in to help….not all my family has these qualities….but enough of them do 🙂  Thank you ..I love you all.

I think the last lesson I need to learn….is that I need to learn to care for myself as much as I care for others.  I ignored alot of signs from my body that something was wrong.  It’s not normal to have a terrible headache for 2 weeks or more….but I just was too busy to take the time to pay attention.  I don’t sleep enough, don’t take the time to pamper myself, don’t eat right always, put off health checks and doc appts,  and put others first always.  Well….I found out the hard way….I could be gone….and then I’d be no help to anyone..and those I love the most would not have me anymore either.  So that is probably the hardest lesson to learn..but the one that is going to have to take priority.  I have to take baby steps to getting better. It is going to be a bit of a process.  But I’m going to learn to care for myself too..I have too.  I have so much to live for….and I want to live a wonderful, healthy, full of life….Life!  The Goddess has Blessed me with another chance…I intend to take it…with great Gusto!!


This is me….buzzed hair, staples, still weak….watch me now as I grow strong again…..I am a Warrior!  A Goddess…..A Witch!    Blessings to you all…..take care of yourself…..and live each moment to the Fullest! 


In love and light and healing…..Autumn






Filed under Daughters, Discussion, Family, Goddess, My Writing, Spring

59 responses to “To Tell You Where I’ve Been………

  1. I’m so glad you are all right! Beautiful picture, your smiling face is radiant. Thank you very much for sharing with us. Wishing you healing and light during your continuing recovery!! ❤

  2. marnette boyd

    You are so near and dear to me sister , I am so blessed to have you in my life even if it is on here . I am so glad the Goddess did what was needed for her to do for you . i know you will get better and at times it is going to be hard but you and I are made of the same stock and even when it is so bad that we are done in , we get back up and go forth to live another day stronger for the lessons , even if they are not what we thought they might be . You are a very wonder lady and I feel honor to have come to know of you in this life time . thank you my friend and sister . hugs and love your friend and sister Marnette BB )O(

  3. Pam Bates

    It is an honor to know you and have you as a friend ❤


  5. Hi Autumn, this is Marie Clewley,
    Instead of using my Facebook, I am coming in from my much neglected blogsite, “Marie’s Amazing Cyberbabblebubble” over at auntieaphrodite. which needs some serious updating, LOL!!!
    Wow! Amazed that you are already up to writing and glad to hear from you. I know exactly what you mean about forgetting to look after yourself! It is the thing so many of us “young at heart but older” women fall into. We are so busy focusing on mothering everyone and protecting everything that we just do not pay enough attention to #1, and also, we deny our signs and symptoms, try to be strong…well well, that formula doesn’t always work anymore either. Our minds are strong as can be, but our physical bodies do not always conform to our wishes, wants and dreams.
    Balance is necessary… a compromise between our physical and the emotional/mental. It is hard, but after flying so high, I have found that I must remember to get back and land. I hate messiness, but downsizing is becoming a real consideration when I realize I cannot climb a ladder to the roof to fix the guttering or paint without getting dizzy.
    I am so glad this wake up call was not more severe due to your getting into the doctor in time, and I know you feel the same. Most people do not understand remotely what lights out means until they get their first glimpse and are lucky enough to survive it.
    Those who have had a wake up call know how serious it is, how precious life is. I am so glad you are safe to have more wonderful adventures and discoveries in this world, most importantly to be there with us, your loved ones and friends!
    So, what is your current work assignment? To rest easy, let the hard things go, play at what fascinates you, and nothing more!
    /|\ Love, joy, and healing light to you dear Autumn! ~;D

    • You said everything perfectly Marie….it was a wake up call and one I wanted to pass on. Putting myself first goes against everything I do…but it is now necessary 🙂 Love and Blessings to you dear friend!

  6. michelle

    I have only recently started to follow your posts and wanted to wish you a speedy recovery. I too had a bad health scare not so long ago for simular reasons, too busy doing everything except looking after me.
    I truly hope that you are back to full health soon!
    Love joy blessings to you

  7. Angelique Autumn

    Our Journey in the Garden never ends until it ends! It has been an honor to walk this path with you. You are a Warrior Witch Goddess and She has blessed you as you bless so many. Please heed Her Call for you to fully embrace the Lesson She is teaching you! You are Her precious gift and She wants to continue to Shine in, with and through you! Hugs and love!

  8. blessings and light deer sister!! so glad you are on the re-bound!! all is well!!! <*)

  9. Genni Buie

    Sweet Sister,
    It was with great admiration that I read your blog! And, by reading this you share your message with us that we too, the care takers and nurtures must take care of ourselves as well.
    I am long overdue for some tests and am going to make it a point to get my health care back in order, as like you I want to live this life to the fullest!
    May Our Lady of a thousand names continue to bless and keep you as you recover and always know that you are never alone.
    Love you Sister Autumn……..:)

  10. Patricia Von Fricken

    Bright Blessings to you and yours.. Heed your Goddess, she will show you through..

  11. Firefly

    Love healing and blessings to you my Sistet. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  12. frugalfroggy

    You could make staples all the rage. 🙂 You’re beautiful and the goddess shines right through you. I am so grateful that you are still here with us, your family and your friends. You are loved mightily.

  13. Maggie

    I truly hope that your recover quickly and with the least amount of discomfort. Possibly some gentle healing from holistic medicine to support the orthodox?
    For some reason I was not going to read your blog, too busy, blah, blah, blah (funny that!), yet I did.
    Just a few days ago I was trapped in a lift with a friend and a complete stranger. This was near the 7th floor of Tate Modern in London. We were only there for just over an hour, but we were all really, scared and anxious, especially as the lift had come to a halt in a series of juddering shocks.
    But it did clarify my mind, I have a few health problems, but with care should be fine for some natural time; yet, yet at any moment it can just change. My first message was to my husband and children, and then to a friend before my phone failed. Seeing six burly fireman through a blissfully open door was such a joy, and, as we walked the bank of the Thames, every spring leaf, flower and breeze seemed so much more real than ever before. Both that and my loved ones are so important, and, as you say: taking some care of oneself!

    Go well,

  14. CindyMaluna

    To have you here, to listen to your wise words, is the salve that heals us all. May we help heal you everyday. Love and blessings to you, dear sister, you have a permanent place on my altar. BB

  15. irish claddagh


  16. Dear sweet sister, Autumn. May you continue to grow in light & love and recover fully. I am so happy you are surrounded in so much love and know how valued you are. I too like you do not take time for me. I haven’t been to see a doctor in many years choosing to get massages, and work things out on my own but maybe that isn’t always the best thing to do, especially in preventative medicine. Much love and blessings be upon you always. May you always see the rainbow sister. Peace

    • Rita..I hope you have seen a doctor by now…I’m gonna write you on facebook and get on you if you haven’t!! 🙂 Thanks so much for trying to help me with your suggestions…who knew that it was in my brain LOL. Much love to you Sister!

  17. I love you, my dear sister! Seeing the light in those beautiful eyes tells me that the Magick is indeed powerful! I am honored and humbled at the same time to be a part of your magickal family!

  18. Dianne Haas

    My dear Autumn,
    I am grateful that our Goddess heard and answered our prayers
    I too must comment on the beautiful light shining from your eyes –
    wishing you love n light and many blessings!

  19. Saffron Moon

    You will Never know how happy I am that my Sister is Healing…..I have never prayed to the Goddess so hard as I have over the last few weeks ❤ I'm glad you are back home with your Family and that more Tests should give you the Answers you need…You are one Strong,Beautiful Lady and I love you ❤ Do as you are told Autumn and rest up …I know you !!!!!! 🙂

  20. I, too, have only recently begun to follow your posts. I am glad for good doctors for you, and that you are back home among family and friends. Thank you for sharing your experience; it is timely advice, which I too will act upon. May your joys be multiplied and your strength return better than before. Bright blessings!

  21. be well witch, you look sparkly in your eyes. feel like telling you of the green smoothie revolution hitting our house. blend or juice apples, carrots, pears, kale, parsley, ginger and half a lemon. drink it. alter the fruits and vegetables, include beetroot sometimes or pineapple. eat fruit salads, but only on a completely empty stomach. eat one huge salad a day, include wild leaves like dandelion, mallow, chickweed. sprinkle with seeds: pumpkin, flax, sesame. Dress your salad with honey mustard cider vinegrette. Let food be your medicine and medicine be your food. well done for staying alive lovely lady. with love and respect Sharman Cunning, West Sussex, England

  22. Kim kica

    You got me crying again :-)) I love u glad u r going to take time for u!!!!! U are a warrior indeed and loving friend

  23. Jolee Cleary

    You are amazing and inspiring. I have been dealing with health anxieties last couple of weeks also. Ct scan came back clear but still have no idea what’s going on, though seems to be some sort of nerve damage in my face. Your attitude is wonderful and I intend to emulate it. Speedy recovery to you. You are a radiant example of the Goddess.

  24. I have just started following your blog and facebook page. I am very impressed with you and am glad you are feeling better. Blessed Be!
    Isis Moonstar

    • Hello Isis..thank you so much for following me…don’t get discouraged with me not writing…I’m having a hard time right now wrapping my brain around writing here but it’ll come back I’m sure. Thank you so much!

  25. jan Franz

    I’m so sorry to hear you went through that. But, you look beautiful! and clearly…your writing is unaffected. I’m going to put this out to you-I live in Lebanon area of Ohio and would be happy to do energy work for you. (NO charge of course). I know how it is, you give to others, and it is hard sometimes to give to yourself. It helps to ease, comfort and bring peace of mind, as well as to heal the body. I utilize my ancient Cherokee and Celtic roots, as my ancestors have guided me to do so. Let me know if you would like to try, or just want to talk. (
    Blessings and prayers to you. The Goddess surrounds you.
    jan Ravenspirit.

    • Jan…I love Lebanon….how wonderful to meet you. I’d love to meet you in person too…funny…I have Celtic and Cherokee in me too…we have much in common it appears. I will write down your email and write very soon. Thank you so much!

  26. Cynthia

    What an ordeal..I have never even heard of what you had..please take care of glad you are still special that you are so special.

  27. Autumn, I knew the day I met you, that we would meet that day. I feel like a true Sister to you and Sunny. You are Blessed beyond words with Sweet Sara, Sunny and your family. I still light candle for you every night. Brightest Blessings to you!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

  28. Marsha

    I am a newcomer to your blog, and am very relieved that you have come through this ordeal with your resolution and light intact – do take care of yourself and heal soon! Your picture is perfectly charming.

  29. chefette13

    So glad to hear you are getting better! I will remember you in my prayers and meditations.
    blessing always

  30. jolene Hallock

    So nice to see that lovely smile, after all that has happened. I have been away and am just now checking my e- mails so I only just learned what had happened. Love and Blessings Autumn.

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