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To Tell You Where I’ve Been………

Merry Meet my dear readers.  It has been a bit of time now since I’ve written here on my blog….and well….there is a good reason.  I debated with myself for a few days on whether to even write about this….but decided that as I learned a few lessons in this process…..that I would share my experience.

On Irish Day, March 17, after having a terrible headache for over 2 weeks, and with the insistence of my sister and a good friend, I had that friend take me to a local hospital to get checked out..something was not right with me and I could feel it.  Very quickly, I had a catscan and discovered that I was indeed a very sick lady.   I had two brain bleeds…one older and a brand new one.  It became a dire situation very fast.  I was ambulanced immediately to another hospital more equipped to handle my situation.  My family rushed in to be with me and we were all very scared..not knowing why this had happened or what the outcome was going to be.   After more catscans, MRI’s, IV meds, being in the ICU for a couple of days..the bleeding had not stopped.  I was really sick with nausea and such a severe headache that pain medicine didn’t stop it.    Then….I had brain surgery on wed the 21st.  Multiple burr holes were dug into my skull to relieve the pressure and allow the blood to drain out. My head was shaved down, drains applied and 30 some staples applied to close everything back up.  The next few days were a bit of a blur..still so sick, sleeping alot, and hoping for relief to kick in soon.  Eventually the drains were removed…catscans started showing improvement….I was moved out of ICU to a regular room and I started working towards going home.   I finally got home late tuesday night the 26th. 

My ordeal is not over.  I have some cognitive deficits, my eyesight seems to be affected a bit, still have a headache though much more tolerable.  There will be appts with docs who are trying to figure out what caused the bleeds in the first place..to prevent them from happening again.  The neuro docs will be involved in my life for some time.  I have alot of restrictions…. no driving, no bending over, no lifting, over exertion, no housecleaning,  must get more sleep, meds I have to take and others I can no longer take.  Whew…..it’s alot to take in and alot to deal with…….

But…….  it’s NOT more then I can handle.  I am so so grateful to be alive, to be with my family and friends, to see that Spring has sprung while I was gone, to hug my grandkids, see my daughter’s smiles, my husband’s worry,  pet my cats, sit in my favorite chair in my own jammies, to watch the Sunrise and the Moonrise.   I had not seen the Moon for 12 days….the night I got home…my husband helped me to take a long soaking bath.  Right over our tub we have a skylight.  As I laid back to just soak my achy, bruised body….the Crescent moon was shining right thru that skylight onto me…filling me with a deep sense of healing, peace, love and strength.  It was amazing and I was mesmerized by how my Goddess reminded me She was still with me…always. 

Another lesson I learned…..was how strong, caring and wonderful my facebook friends are.  The outpouring of love, healing energy and concern was incredible.  I was too sick to really “be” on facebook much….but I read what I could…so often crying at the pure magick of it…and the feeling of love I was receiving…it was humbling and so so touching.  I believe it was that incredible love that has kept me here as well.  Thank you so so much my friends.

I also learned…again….that my husband, daughters, son-in-law, sisters, brother, and some close friends….always are there for each other as well.  No matter what the crisis…someone steps in to help….not all my family has these qualities….but enough of them do 🙂  Thank you ..I love you all.

I think the last lesson I need to learn….is that I need to learn to care for myself as much as I care for others.  I ignored alot of signs from my body that something was wrong.  It’s not normal to have a terrible headache for 2 weeks or more….but I just was too busy to take the time to pay attention.  I don’t sleep enough, don’t take the time to pamper myself, don’t eat right always, put off health checks and doc appts,  and put others first always.  Well….I found out the hard way….I could be gone….and then I’d be no help to anyone..and those I love the most would not have me anymore either.  So that is probably the hardest lesson to learn..but the one that is going to have to take priority.  I have to take baby steps to getting better. It is going to be a bit of a process.  But I’m going to learn to care for myself too..I have too.  I have so much to live for….and I want to live a wonderful, healthy, full of life….Life!  The Goddess has Blessed me with another chance…I intend to take it…with great Gusto!!

 

This is me….buzzed hair, staples, still weak….watch me now as I grow strong again…..I am a Warrior!  A Goddess…..A Witch!    Blessings to you all…..take care of yourself…..and live each moment to the Fullest! 

 

In love and light and healing…..Autumn

 

 

 

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